Dealing with criticism

Criticism - that's an ugly word. I'm sure even the most sporting of us has a problem with it, even though we may not admit it. And I'm definitely not sporting. I will lash back at anyone who attempts to even start. I will rebelliously zone out when family enters "fault-finding mode". At least, that has been my pattern till now. ..

Lately, I have realized that I have been hearing the same kind of comments from a lot of people, over the years. And suddenly I find myself wondering - is it true? And if so, should I change? Maybe these are the factors that have held me back all these years. Well, after some sagely contemplation (after a lot of procrastination - for which, of course, I have been criticised), I have come to the following conclusions:

1. The truth? If a lot of unconnected people from different areas and eras of your life have said the same thing, it is probably true.

2. Listen. We need to listen, even if we pretend not to.

3. Consider it. We need to at least consider the criticism. Think about it on some level at least. Even for a second.

4. Deal with it. Is the flaw in question really necessary to be corrected, or is it just one of those things that is true but can't really be changed?
For instance, if someone told me that my voice is irritating, I don't think I could do anything about it. So I throw it out the window.
But when a number of people start commenting on my weight-gain, I start getting angry. With a toddler at home and numerous chores to do, who has the energy to actually go out and exercise? But I'm now beginning to realize that I need to control my weight, so I can get stronger and enjoy my family more. So, I'm now thinking about good healthy lifestyle choices... like going out for more walks and outings, eating healthier etc.

5. Un-learn zoning out. Somehow, over the years, I have learnt to stubbornly, blindly zone-out whenever someone says something negative, even if it was true - even important, in a life-changing way. And now, I think it's time to un-learn that. Some of the most cited "flaws" have actually been factors in the low points of my life, and yet I never learned. Denial of our worst traits seem to be a really common thing.

Even though it feels silly/degrading/wuss-racked-up-with-self-doubt-ish to agree to someone's crticism, I think we need to at least give it due consideration, before tossing it out the window. Who knows - maybe that was the one thing that held you back from your dream!

So go ahead, throw a fit, sulk, whatever - whenever they point the finger at you. But later on, when you have a moment, sit down and think about it. In any case, that's my new gameplan.