Hard work

For years now, I have been looking for that short-cut to finish everyday tasks so mundane, I'd rather just skip and feel sorry for myself. The tasks can range from housekeeping, to cooking, to exercise, a work-from-home project or just playing with or teaching my baby girl. Okay, some of these I skip more often than the others, but you get the point. Doing it all, day after day, is exhausting and brain-numbing to the extreme.

Then I have this constant nagging feeling that I am behind (so what do a few more backlogged tasks matter). And then I see this other class of moms - and some of them even go out to work - and they look so "put together". Their hair, face, clothes - everything is just right and perfectly groomed, their kids are probably putting sentences together while my sweetie-pie is still calling every TV actor "Papa". So I figured, they must be having some secret! How on earth do they do it?

After weeks and months of trying out new plans and what-not, I finally realized that it was actually a very simple concept - but I had been trying to work around it, and so really got nowhere. We simply have to ask ourselves what we can tolerate (read "do without") in our lives, and what we think is really worth adding to our lifestyle - and then WORK LIKE CRAZY to get there.

Even if it's a small thing, say "brush teeth every night", it seems easy for the first few nights, and then comes some new serial on TV, or we have a late night for whatever reason, and then that thought comes... wait for it... "I'm too tired/sleepy". So we give up, telling ourselves, it's just for one night. Then the next night rolls in, and we're not all that strong, because we already missed one night. If you're like me, you know how this is going to end - in cavities and stinky breath.

And yet, there are those who will floss and brush every single - and I mean e-v-e-r-y night.
Life is unpredictable. Temptations will come flying at you at the most unwanted times. Can you resist? Can you sacrifice that moment of joy for the sake of the other boring but necessary activity? And there in lies the answer. To choose to give up that immediate gratification and start plugging away at "the brain-dead task" - just making that choice - is hard. Then, working at it - doing the dishes, brushing, putting in those 30 minutes of writing for your novel - whatever the task may be - is again hard. Doing a decent job of the task - some more hard work. Doing it all as fast as you can - an added level of hard work. Making it all look simple, doable and delightful to your kids - add another notch of work. (Okay, I was tempted to put in "priceless").
Then do it all over again tomorrow, battling more temptations.... yep, you guessed it - that's pretty uphill. Ignoring any back-aches or bodily discomfort... don't even ask - yes, sweetie - hard work.

There is no shortcut. It is never going to be easy. And no one will pat you on the back and give you a "Bravo!" shout-out. If something is worth adding to your lifestyle, like a good figure, clean teeth, clean house, fulfilling job, teaching kids new skills, improving your relationship...

• Take a deep breath.
• Make a decision about your priorities. Definitely want manicured nails always, but frizzy hair on some days acceptable? So be it.
• Accept that you are in it for the long haul - maybe an entire lifetime.
• Accept that it won't be fun for long. It will probably suck the life out of you. And that's okay, because the result of your efforts will help you or or your family in some way (even if they are completely unaware of it). Even the passion of your life will have it's mundane facets - like dirty diapers for the enthusiastic mom, or bookkeeping for the excited entrepreneur.
• Sacrifice. Say "No" - to temptations, that is. Time is not unlimited. You have to make the time for the job. Cut out heartlessly all the distractions. When you look back, the lure of most temptations will fizzle to nothingness. If you want nice hair, you have to wake up half an hour earlier, shampoo, condition, blow-dry, slather on styling gel, curl or straighten, style, spray. Sorry, but that's way it is, if you want that chic look everytime you meet people. Yes, those elegant co-workers or passersby do put in that extra time.
  (Have the wisdom though, to give in to certain "important" distractions. You won't be condemned by the Gods for choosing to nurse your sick baby over dusting the china.)
• Roll up your sleeves (mentally will do)
• Sink your teeth into the task at hand. In short, do the work. The couple who seems to be so in-tune w/ each other have already had, in private, their own arguments-leading-to-talks a number of times, each time coming up with a new rule, boundary, or feelings that they learn to respect. (Doesn't sound so romantic, does it? "The talk" is always feared by many, and doing it right without hurting the other person is serious hard work). The well-behaved child is so, because of years of tireless efforts of parents to consistently discipline (even when they didn't feel like it, and the urge to give in was strong).

Working hard is, after all, hard work. But less known is the fact that working, by itself, is also hard work. Working consistently, aka discipline, is the mother of hard-work. The sooner we come face-to-face with this fact, the better it is for us. Stop looking for that happy side of the job. Stop waiting for the perfect moment. Stop trying to create the perfect environment for the job. Just work. Hard.

Thank you for visiting my blog. Do write in about your own observations, experiments, opinions or comments.