Sunshine in my life

It can get pretty gloomy and depressing in the winter - the dark cloudy skies, the cold weather, the staying indoors mostly because of the cold and of course the flu going around. I was feeling very low and isolated and therefore depressed. But this morning, I noticed the squirrel making off with a lot of fruit from our tree, so I and my 2 yr old daughter got dressed and rushed out into the backyard armed with a couple of plastic bags. No, not for the squirrel. Just to collect all the ripe fruit that I could reach from ground level.

Well, I spent a good 20 minutes out there, with my daughter getting all excited about this interesting turn of events, especially when her mummy went in and got a 2-step ladder and tried to get out the fruit at a higher level. Then we walked around. She rode her tricycle for a while too. Afterwards I read her an alphabet book, right there, sitting in the shade. It was well over an hour before we came back in, armed with 2 bulging bags of persimmons, and even a few beefsteak tomatoes and herbs from our tiny vegetable garden.

We felt great! I was absolutely brimming with energy. After spending 2 days indoors because of the cold winds (and my general inclination to just stay in), I was feeling wonderful! The sun and the fresh air really did a number on me - in a good way. I recommend getting a dose of sunshine everyday, for everyone of every age.

Go out, for just a couple of minutes, and feel the warmth and light of the sun. I know, people like my sis will say, "Now that's just common sense!" My sis loves the outdoors, and is always very energetic, and will definitely wonder if I am crazy to suggest something so basic. But I literally felt the depression floating away and being replaced with this calm, happy energy when I went outdoors. Even my headache that I had since last night had disappeared.

So fresh air and sunshine, people! Get lots of it, or even just 5 minutes of it! (Don't forget to wear sunscreen half an hour before going out, but even if you don't, a little sunshine is not going to harm you - I didn't put any sunscreen today, actually.)

Don't give up!

So you've tried for the umpteenth time to get that much closer to that goal you set for yourself sometime back, and now you have started to wonder. Is it really going to happen for you?

Then you self-analyze, concluding in self-criticism, and end up in a slump. To you I say, "Don't give up! Keep plugging away at it, and you'll get there!"

I too have a couple of goals - writing my first novel, finding a good job, completing my current in-house software project, having a clutter-free home, etc etc. I have given up on doing huge chunks of work in one go, which was at the cost of my sanity (and my family's). I tell you, it took having a two-year old toddler at home to get a whole new perspective on things. Now I'm finally seeing the light.

It's really very simple. Don't think about the result right then. Just stop. Only promise yourself you'll do just 5 mins worth of work towards that goal. If after that, you don't want to stop, keep going at 5 minute blocks, each time permitting yourself to stop after those 5 mins. Definitely stop after half an hour at the most, and step away. Usually by then you're out of that funky feeling, and are filled with hope. Force yourself to catch up with other chores, or even reward yourself with somehing. Do this even if you could not work for more than 5 minutes. At least you put in 5 minutes of work today, even if you did nothing else about it. You are 5 minutes ahead of yesterday's work! Congratulate yourself.

Now, if you're like me, you're automatically going to start thinking, "If only I'd done 5 mins everyday for the past one year, I could have accomplished so much! Why did I not blah-blah-blah...?" Stop yourself right there. Don't ever criticize yourself. Analyze in a kind manner, draw un-emotional conclusions, and decide on your next POA. Use the same language that you would use with your child when she makes a mistake. Be gentle.

When you separate yourself from all those negative emotions and look at your obstacles in an objective manner, you will most likely conclude one of the following:

• Your goal is no longer important to you. In that case, don't just give up. Sleep on it. Give it a week. During various times of the day imagine you hace achieved that goal. Do you feel all fired up with excitement? Sometimes, usually at night, I will get frustrated and will want to give up. But come morning when I am fresh and full, that goal will sound pretty exciting. Maybe after a week, if you still don't care for any of it, you can then safely throw it out the window. If you decide it's worth your sweat, you will be glad you worked those 5 minutes for the last one week, even when you didn't feel like it.
• Your goal is too lofty. What I mean by that is, you don't have actual in-between practical attainable mini-goals, that will finally lead to that final goal. If you have already done this, try breaking down your current mini-goal into even smaller chunks.
• Maybe your goal is impractical, or unhealthy, or goes against your values. If you want to become a teacher, gymnast, space scientist, rock star AND a supermodel, all in one year's time, that's a tad too impractical, eh? If you want to lose a lot of weight too soon, that would just be unhealthy. You want to climb the corporate ladder really fast, but you hate the thought of sucking up to that mean boss. With goals like these, you are going to lose. Unless you either re-think your goals, it ain't gonna happen. Because, in your heart of hearts, you know that you really don't like any of the roads that lead to your goal. Change, or at least tweak the goal.
• Life has handed you a completely new set of circumstances. You were going to land that acting gig in the next big movie, but you found out that you are pregnant. Life is never constant - things will keep happening. If the movie people don't want to adapt the script to your growing belly, you have to get honest with yourself and figure out your priorities. If you decide to skip the gig, it doesn't mean the goal is banished. It's just been delayed. Hang in there. Just make sure you regularly touch base with that goal - keep practising, or reading or whatever helps you feel connected to that dream.
• You don't have a plan. That's easy. Simply sit down and make a plan!

Believe in yourself. Imagine that you are already there. Let those wonderful feelings come to the surface. Do you feel like you're on top of the world? Good. So don't give up.

Who knows - someone might even be looking up to you as an example right now. Inspire away! :)

Do it now

I remember this jingle for an ad in India - "Don't just think about it, do it!". It's true, and we know it. It's common sense that instead of moping around and worrying while watching TV about the million things that we have to do, it's definitely advisable to just start doing one of those things right away. And yet, for some unfathomable reason, we don't. At least I don't.

However, everytime I randomly decide to follow that gem, I actually find that I feel good. It's the opposite of procrastination. Do it NOW.

There are tons of articles and books on the subject of procrastination. They explain why we do it, how we do it, and how to overcome it. All that advice boils down to this: break down the task into small doable chunks, even if u have only 5 minutes to do it, and then roll up your sleeves and do it!

Thanks for stopping by! What have you been putting off? Do a 5 min chore and write in to brag!

Always late!

How many times have you been late - to dinner parties, events, appointments etc?

I have been a chronic latecomer. I am always at least an hour late for any social occasion. I am only on time for appointments or classes. Even then, usually I am just in time. My sis and I got talking about this, and wondered what could be done.

She has been reading some book on procrastination, and suggested that I work backwards, from the target time (the time of the event), and then plan what things I need to get done by then, in order to get ready to reach the event on time. When I did this, I realized that I had to be really proactive and sacrifice certain time-draining lazy activities.

So that second episode of Fringe on Hulu has to be left un-viewed. Need to hoist butt from sofa and pack baby's snacks NOW. Need to plan outfits for baby and me. Need to get gifts/cards, AND make sure everything is in the car (I've forgotten stuff at home mid-way while driving, even after planning it all right). Not fun. But I think that little sacrifice makes up for the guilt the entire evening for keeping the host waiting for my family to turn up.

I'd love to hear any other tips my precious readers might have (unless you're running late...LOL). Thanks for stopping by!

Finding the right time to work

There isn't.

Even when I feel tired or lethargic, I have to snatch free minutes here and there to catch up with what I want to accomplish that day. As a stay-at-home mom to a toddler, it's hardly possible to have any long blocks of time to myself.

If I try to fold those laundry clothes when I feel like it, it's never going to happen. If I have 10 mins to spare, and say to myself, "I'll do it after sometime", guess what happens. My baby wants me to play with her, or wants a snack, or has pooped in her diaper, or it's time to start lunch, or someone drops in, or.... You can add an infinite number of possibilities here.

Nothing is as sure a thing as the present free 10 mins, or even 5 mins. This has been a big lesson for me. Of course, I still procrastinate. That laundry/dumping ground in the guest-bedroom is calling out to me!

I passively observed my classmates in college using this trick, and they were all very successful in the courses they took. They never waited for the right moment. I would never see them simply whiling away time. They would have scheduled downtime and would party like crazy when they did go out, but otherwise they were always busy doing something - homework, studying, practising diagrams, doodling formulae...

Sigh... that laundry is screaming it's head off for me! Okay, okay I'm coming!

I would love to hear your thoughts on this. Thanks for stopping by.