Don't give up!

So you've tried for the umpteenth time to get that much closer to that goal you set for yourself sometime back, and now you have started to wonder. Is it really going to happen for you?

Then you self-analyze, concluding in self-criticism, and end up in a slump. To you I say, "Don't give up! Keep plugging away at it, and you'll get there!"

I too have a couple of goals - writing my first novel, finding a good job, completing my current in-house software project, having a clutter-free home, etc etc. I have given up on doing huge chunks of work in one go, which was at the cost of my sanity (and my family's). I tell you, it took having a two-year old toddler at home to get a whole new perspective on things. Now I'm finally seeing the light.

It's really very simple. Don't think about the result right then. Just stop. Only promise yourself you'll do just 5 mins worth of work towards that goal. If after that, you don't want to stop, keep going at 5 minute blocks, each time permitting yourself to stop after those 5 mins. Definitely stop after half an hour at the most, and step away. Usually by then you're out of that funky feeling, and are filled with hope. Force yourself to catch up with other chores, or even reward yourself with somehing. Do this even if you could not work for more than 5 minutes. At least you put in 5 minutes of work today, even if you did nothing else about it. You are 5 minutes ahead of yesterday's work! Congratulate yourself.

Now, if you're like me, you're automatically going to start thinking, "If only I'd done 5 mins everyday for the past one year, I could have accomplished so much! Why did I not blah-blah-blah...?" Stop yourself right there. Don't ever criticize yourself. Analyze in a kind manner, draw un-emotional conclusions, and decide on your next POA. Use the same language that you would use with your child when she makes a mistake. Be gentle.

When you separate yourself from all those negative emotions and look at your obstacles in an objective manner, you will most likely conclude one of the following:

• Your goal is no longer important to you. In that case, don't just give up. Sleep on it. Give it a week. During various times of the day imagine you hace achieved that goal. Do you feel all fired up with excitement? Sometimes, usually at night, I will get frustrated and will want to give up. But come morning when I am fresh and full, that goal will sound pretty exciting. Maybe after a week, if you still don't care for any of it, you can then safely throw it out the window. If you decide it's worth your sweat, you will be glad you worked those 5 minutes for the last one week, even when you didn't feel like it.
• Your goal is too lofty. What I mean by that is, you don't have actual in-between practical attainable mini-goals, that will finally lead to that final goal. If you have already done this, try breaking down your current mini-goal into even smaller chunks.
• Maybe your goal is impractical, or unhealthy, or goes against your values. If you want to become a teacher, gymnast, space scientist, rock star AND a supermodel, all in one year's time, that's a tad too impractical, eh? If you want to lose a lot of weight too soon, that would just be unhealthy. You want to climb the corporate ladder really fast, but you hate the thought of sucking up to that mean boss. With goals like these, you are going to lose. Unless you either re-think your goals, it ain't gonna happen. Because, in your heart of hearts, you know that you really don't like any of the roads that lead to your goal. Change, or at least tweak the goal.
• Life has handed you a completely new set of circumstances. You were going to land that acting gig in the next big movie, but you found out that you are pregnant. Life is never constant - things will keep happening. If the movie people don't want to adapt the script to your growing belly, you have to get honest with yourself and figure out your priorities. If you decide to skip the gig, it doesn't mean the goal is banished. It's just been delayed. Hang in there. Just make sure you regularly touch base with that goal - keep practising, or reading or whatever helps you feel connected to that dream.
• You don't have a plan. That's easy. Simply sit down and make a plan!

Believe in yourself. Imagine that you are already there. Let those wonderful feelings come to the surface. Do you feel like you're on top of the world? Good. So don't give up.

Who knows - someone might even be looking up to you as an example right now. Inspire away! :)